Am I Humble?

I must be honest....I'm a people pleaser most times.. I'm getting better but I have a long way to go. It has always been so hurtful to me when I have heard someone say something about me who I thought "was for me"; Someone I looked up too or someone I held their opinion at a high standard. As I grow in God, 1st of all, and I walk through doors leading in the music industry the Holy Spirit has warned me not to take everyone's advice or opinion. That's why I have been studying the word more and gaining knowledge because alot of times, people who always tell you what "they" think are usually trying to keep you where "they are" so they won't be left behind.
At church daddy has been teaching about love and it's mind blowing! Can never learn enough about love. I have begin to confess daily that the compassion of Jesus flows through my heart and that doesn't disfranchise the fact that everybody that's with you can't make it where you're going. But since I'm about LOVE now this blog is not about bashing anyone.
But I had been dealing with a statement that had been said and tonight God released me of it during worship and I had to share. It wasn't nothing bad but it shook me cause it's one thing that I never want to be said about me and that is someone saying that I'm arrogant or conceited. I think those attitudes are disgusting and are totally opposite of God. I've been told since a child the old Proverbial verse that Pride goes before destruction and I have seen it happen to others. They didn't say I was arrogant they said something like I hope he stays humble or we need to make sure that he stays humble.
I have always had this false definition of humility. I have always been told I have an humble, easy going spirit. But I thought it was because I didn't have much. So statements like that, which was said about me, had me thinking, hmmm when I begin fulfilling my purpose would I no longer be humble because I 'have' more. It had bothered me for months but I never said nothing. And God saw me walking around with that and tonight he squeezed it out of me.
A few weeks ago he allowed a mentor to define humility.
Humility to the believer does not mean you are humble because you lack or your timid. Humility is confident in knowing who you are in CHRIST!

I know who I am and God is daily making me into who I am becoming. And as long as I know it's God I'll be humble.! That took at weight off of me when that was said. My mentor, whew, he's awesome.
But I still carried a little weight cause it bothered me because I have a weird way of thinking that everyone in my circle or who surrounds me is 'for me'. WRONG! I have learned, especially being a Pastor's Child, that you have to listen to the slick comments. Someone made one the other day about my dad. I didn't catch until they walked off LOL OHHH BUT GOD SAVED THAT PERSON! L.O.V.E. lol I still have some learning to do. (Forever learning) This blog is about my evolution. I have always been one to value the opinions of others but I learned also that the opinions of others only matter in their world. They don't have to matter in mine! WOW! (send your offerings to 6035 Fairfield Ave. lol)
But while I was rushing trying to get everyone in my circle to be FOR ME! I ignored God's voice alot of times. I had to repent tonight. I had given to many people control. I thought about them before I made a decision, thinking ooh will I still appear humble if I do this or that. I'm glad God stopped me because I was on the way to losing my identity. I would have become this puppet and would have ended up living an unfilled life, more than likely doing what they were doing. I love to celebrate others and sometimes get talked into walking in 'their' purpose instead of stepping into mine. I have missed alot of opportunities like that.
But with all that said. Tonight I went to 318LIVE and worship was phenomenal! The presence of God was heavy and evident! And God was speaking. Not so much through the people, He was speaking Himself and He told me something He had been trying to tell me and something I needed to hear...I am for you! AHHHHHHH
God told me He is for me! Then the words to Kari Jobe's song rang in my head..I Know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness! I know that you have come now even if to write upon my heart. To remind me of who you are!

I have alot of issues and have alot of Growing to do. But God said the people are ok, don't hold grudges or get worked up but they don't define me, He does. And no matter what they say or think may happen (I still don't know why I gave them power to do that when thy don't know God's plans for my life..I don't know them all so how would they know LOL) But not matter what has or will happen, God is for me!

Be encouraged! Listen to what God is trying to tell you! And that is all

Bro.J

P.S. There are no grudges towards the pers0n who said that about me. I'm very forgiving but it's hard to forget. But the person moved. God has a way of freeing you. I love them the same