Oh so you Funny?

So people give me more and more reason to want to leave Shreveport. I'm out of town, here at a LIVE CD recording. Came with my bro! my New MD. Anyways, got here and check into our rooms and one of the "SHREVEPORT PEOPLE" made a little comment that he thought was so funny......but got no laugh. My bro just made a statement saying... YA'll GONNA HEAR FROM THIS GUY REALLY SOON (referring to me) WE'RE WORKING ON SOME STUFF WHEN WE GET BACK TO SHREVEPORT.

So the guy says OH YEA.. WHAT DO YOU DO? REGGAE....Referring to my dreds.....*crickets*

He laughed so he got one point from himself. Anyway.. I know that the UNDERDOG ALWAYS WIN!! THE WHOLE CITY WILL SEE. TRUST THEY DON'T HAVE TO embrace what God has ordained. They didn't embrace Jesus. (not comparing myself to my Lord) but even in Jesus' death God was glorified. SO they can ROAST me or say slick stuff BUT GOD'S WILL WILL COME TO PAST...

And for the record. I see now why God made me a semi quiet person around people  I don't know personally..

What they don't know is that I sit back and listen to God while they are doing there thing then God tells me to listen to them and then when It's my turn I know what and what not to do.............THANKS for the FREE CLASSES PEEPS>

But one thing I'm learning is that I know more than most of these other local artists. THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT.


I'm through now.. anyway I'm so excited to see PJ MORTON and EARNEST PUGH>..BYE

THE ROAD TO A NEW ME.............

So today is OCT. 3... tomorrow marks the day that I transform my outer appearance. I have already began reforming my spiritual or internal factor for some time now. But the outer is going to take just as much work. I'm aiming to lose 30 pounds and tone my chest, arms and stomach.. I super excited. I'm also going to consult an orthodontist about Invisilign Braces! So A new body and a new smile......I hope I don't become a distraction to the glory of God when I lead worship!! lOL #carnal . Anyways. The reason I'm doing it is definitely FOR ME.. My integrity, my health, and taking care of my temple that God gave me. I noticed I was out of shape and overweight when I couldn't fit my clothes and when I would be totally out of breath (overworking my heart) after the first two worship songs. SO I decided to do something about it..

Well I'm about to have my last sweets for a while. I'm going to eat  snickers and drink some fruit juice. Nothing but fruits and vegetables from here on in.......I'm going to take pictures everyday to catch my progress and possibly post VLOGS! I'm excited! I LOVE ME!! GOD LOVES ME!!

Brother J

A Young Buck

Just finished reading a few pages in Monica Coates book and it confirmed what God told me earlier today. If I would ask the world I'm pretty sure they would say I'm in a state of depression. I went to class today, went to lunch, then went to my friend's Dad's studio and wrote a song and then came home to work on another song but I sat on the couch for a bout 5 hours in the dark. The only light coming from my laptop. Depressed much. 
She epxlained as well as God told me yesterday and today that WE are writing my story. Not that he hasn't already planned my life. He's helping me put it in a form to share with others in the sake of my ministry. Monica said God is building my character because I will need it in the MONSTROUS industry I'm going into.

Amongst all that tonight I believe God has given me a Target audience and a sound for now. It may change but I can strongly agree with him on this one. My target audience is 20-30 something. Like me, Looking for love, to be loved, trying to establish life, pursue goals, seeking direction, want to know God but don't know where to look , trying to survive and start a legacy, searching for purpose. So far I've had a taste of all of these and know I will have to experience more challenges but THIS will be my target to help those people. I knew I wasn't meant for children or teens per say but I know this age quite good.
 My sound is FULL MOON (brandy-creativity-rodney 'darkchild' jerkins) Meets Israel and Newbreed and Lakewood Worship meet Britt Nicoles Target Message. So it's like a pop worship. Can't wait to see what category the industry will try to place me in. But God is building me so they can say what they want. I know what He said and I Know who I am. 
Tomorrow I'm going to pursue and out of state opportunity in the industry. It's time for me to grow up ,spread my wings, step out of the boat and walk on water. I read something today that said stop trying to mature and just grow! They say the early 20's ,I'm 22, are the most exciting years in life to discover and explore. I'm ready. that is all

A young Buck

BREAKING

Today I realized something. I've had this feeling since I was 13. I'm just not good enough I guess. I'll never be what's expected. I'm easily blamed for having an attitude or what we say at church "A spirit".
Briefly I'm going ot share my dream. I can't dwell on it because I just got through recording a song and I feel better but I must have cried for an hour today. And these aren't just tears they are painful SOBS. I'm sick of it!
Within the last two months I've had 3 dreams, one last night, of me BLOWING up at church and leaving and it wasn't pretty. I can never tell what leads up to it. And I tried to make myself stay in longer last night to see what happens next but I wonder what it all means. I can usually interpret dreams but this one is hard. I mean I know what it means and what I'm feeling but is this God's way of telling me to leave before it blows up and people get hurt. I don't want to complain but I feel like I unwillingly had to sacrifice everything for ministry. Truth be told we've never had a COMPLETE family and I wrestle with the fact is that of God. I have to wrap it up now cause I'm getting back upset. But what consoled me today is in the stillness God told me that we're writing my story. I used to say that I have nothing as far as experience is concerned to tell people. OMG MINISTRY is on it's WAY!
What fears me and I know i have to reverse it to FAITH cause I'm choosing to trust God, is if my dream becomes reality, where do I go from there? I've been working in the church for almost 6 years doing nothing else. Church EVERYDAY.. I'm scared I may not adapt to anything else well. This is the perfect time to play Israel's new song. You Hold my World in you hands from his new Cd Love God, Love People. Good Night

Breaking

High

I'm on a HiGH Right Now.. and I think I'm going to be here a while. At least I hope so..I'm deciding today to choose to be HAPPY. Smile more, Laugh More, Hug more, and talk one on one to people more. I've been unfriendly here lately. I'm vowing to do better and take my time..

I noticed that when Israel Houghton asked us to let go of our offenses before we come home. I actually did it. I used to think being offended made me a bad person but we all get offended at some point it's only bad when we hold on to it. I let it go and it was easier for me to talk to him today. I still have some healing to do. But I'm trusting God. He always makes the broken things beautiful.

The drive home was peaceful and I loooove the new Israel Houghton Cd "Love God, Love People'. It has a Michael Jackson flavor on it. NICE!
It helped me to launch my new movement. I decided to just do it. Not wait on anything becaused I learned when I wait I usually miss God's timing. But thank that he always brings it back around.
In other news. I hope my teacher extends my homework assignment.
Just got home from my parents house. I'm grateful that they listened to my experience about the conference and it had them excited! They may come next year!! Now I'm about to work on my other blog and do some reading and studying before going to bed..
Peace

So...I'm in my hotel room in Houston, TX after spending the last 4 days here for the "DEEPER CONFERENCE" hosted by Israel Houghton and New Breed.
Right now I'm just a little bothered that I accidently turned in my homework and test late in one of my online classes. When I'm doing Kingdom work or traveling I forget alot of things. I guess that mean I lack balance.
They told us to journal our experience so that we would not forget and so that it would stick with us!
I was dealing with alot before coming here. Family issues, Work issues, and church issues.
I'm burnt. Most people, christians, aren't usually burnt by age and I'm only 22 and I've been doing ministry for most of those years. I got so tired until the point I began questioning my FAITH. My relationship with God and if I even had one. But when I tell you that everything I needed was addressed in the conference I'm telling you the truth. I'll save my past issues for a another blog but I want to do a recap of the entire conference and everything I God told me during the conference. So this will be a lengthy Blog...Here goes..
  I don't want anyone's eyes to get tired.

Night 1 Deeper Conference

Grace Church led us in to worship followed by New Breed..oh and this year we had assigned, pre-reserved seating. COOL!
Bishop Tudor Bismark taught on this night and gave us insight on the Tabernacle of Moses and the Ark of the covenant.
The theme for this night was GRATITUDE

He informed us that we are in the 11th Hour which is the Apostolic hour and that the size of churches were about to increase. That was encouraging because I can see in church's everywhere that they aren't filling like they used to. Even our church.

The overall tone of the conference was GIVING (not just money) Loving People and Serving. Every speaker all reminded us of the same thing that we don't have to worry about ourselves. God has our world in His hands. We should be concerned about others who are less fortunate than we are. God gave me a theme for my ministry a few months ago and i must admit that I brushed it to the side. But this conference caused it to resurface and God has given me another chance to pursue and present it. My vision and Ministry theme is SHOW LOVE, SHARE HOPE!.. Isn't that awesome???
Well I think so. See people are looking for Love and Hope.. and Christ met both of those needs for everyone He came in contact with and I want to do the same. Show the LOVE of God, and Share the Hope that I have in it!
There are alot of more details about this but I'm actually about to create a website/blog for my ministry. I'm super excited!
I met some wonderful friends that I really hope lead to more travel and ministering opportunties although I didn't come to the conference for that, during one of the speakers God told me that this is season He is taking me in is a season of New relationship and this will be a test for my discernment and I need a keen discernment when I officially get in to the industry.
Tuesday me and William Demps, Singer from Seattle, WA began our friendship. He's my new mentor. He is so wise and we talked like we knew each other for ever. I'll never forget when I first went to his myspace page God telling me that we'd be friends/brothers. Not sure if this is seasonal but I'm ready for what ever God does. I learned this week that God only want one thing from us and that's TRUST. and I have to admit, that even though I love God and have faith, I still lacked in the trust department being that trust is totally different from love and faith. I have to COMPLETELY trust God with my life. Why wouldn't I think that God knows what He is doing. He's GOD! Sometimes, I know I do, I give God too many human charactersitics. But God is not like us. His thoughts and ways are higher!
So I recommitted my trust in him and I asked Him to be patient with me. So let's see how this works.
I'm so happy to be connected to Israel Houghton. this year (2010) he actually celebrated 20 years of ministry and 10 years of new Breed. Alot of the previous New Breed Member joined him on stage..(where was Stacey Joseph) wait that's messy lol sorry.. anyways. He's now one of my fathers for wise counsil being that God promoted him from just another artist to being a well for artist. He layed hands on all of us and I'm believing God for the song writing, integrity, and ministering, and musical anointing that he has on his life is now on my life. Although we stayed in the conference ALL Day it was well worth it. Some prestigious people were there or sent videos to congratulate him. Dodie Osteen was there and Joyce Myers snet a video. It's amazing to see the lives he touched. You can tell he's humble and sincere because he cried about everything. His daughter (mariah, 13( started her own foundation- Bella's Blankets that Give blankets to the poor)) He was really proud and he has now launched his own foundation POWER OF ONE based on Matthew 25.

My favorite speaker for the conference was Bishop Michael Pitts.. WHOA He preached the house down.. One thing that he said that still disturbs me and probably will until it's fixed is that they determine how to build a prison based on the test scores of inner city 4th grade males who don't have fathers/ That's burning so with in me that My ministry will help to destroy that. also there are more people dying from water disease than we know because they lack clean water.. and he talked about how alot of church's have differenct out reach and ministry but lack prison ministry and it was outlined to have one in Matthew 25. So this week has rekindled my fire musically and ministry wise. and I'm ready to get to work. there's so much running through my mind that I can't get out at one time. So i'll stop and come back later. I have a feeling that this conference, like last year will stick with me and the different experiences that i'm about to face will bring me back to this burning point. I'm trusting God and I WILL hit my TARGET!

Strength is for service and not for status!
God Bless
J

A Time Of Rest..(Last Public Blog Here)

So me and my family have decided to take a vacation and it is true;
you never know how much rest you need until you lay down and I think
we laid down for all of 5 min. There's so much to do here lol.

Although many people have their own views of Las Vegas, most of whom
have never been, Vegas is a great place to vacation. We aren't
gamblers so I figured we'd be bored but the shows, circus, shopping
and food is enough fun for anybody! (saint or sinner) I see a new
revelation of what Jesus said when He said be in the world but not of
it.. There's alot to do in it to the point that you don't have to
allow it to consume you to be of it. I am thoroughly enjoying myself.
We are at a circus show and hopefully we get to go see Lion King the
show later.
I urge everyone to go somewhere and get
rest especially if you are a part of the leadership of a church or
ministry. We work 25/7 lol. So since we Work hard, we play hard!! I
think everyone should adopt that method and you'll find out that there
is more to life than work, negativitiy and disgust. Enjoy what God
have you.. You only get one here. Enjoy abundant life on the way to
eternal life... That's what God would want.

yours truly,

Brother J
Oh Yea I'm about to start a new blog and saved this one as my personal blog ...like my online diary..so this will be your last read of the Evolution of Brother J until it's cracked open years from now. Thanks for being a faithful reader God Bless!